Blog For Free!
Archives
Home
2006 July
2006 June
2005 March
2005 January
2004 December
2004 November
2004 October
2004 September
2004 August
2004 July
2004 June
2004 May
2004 April
2004 March
My Links
Where my real blog is now
He will get my vote in November
For fans of the Tenchi cartoons
tBlog
My Profile
Send tMail
My tFriends
My Images
Sponsored
Blog
Standing strong while others run a hundred miles....
|
| A splinter in my mind |
| 10.30.04 (7:32 pm) [edit] |
The contents of this post were a long time brewing... a series of events and thoughts that I have finally come to grips with... so bear with me.
Ok, a few weeks ago, a friend of mine caught me on aim and was like "I have to show you something." Well, this person is usually very light hearted, so I knew something was up.
The person explained that they had stayed neutral throughout my divorce stuff, and that they were bothered by the fact that I was so neutral towards my ex. I explained that deep down, she is a good person and she didn't really go out of her way to "betray" me, and she didn't enjoy it. I mean, she is my friend, how could she?
My friend got really quiet. Then they asked me if I still had "the splinter."
Ohhhh, that.
After the pain and sadness and all the other ten steps of emotional stuff I went thru after during the divorce process, I still had something that bothered me. It started right when she left. I watched (well, not literally) her move in with her new man, and heard all about how wonderful her new life was. And I was happy for her. I mean, in the end, the divorce was important for both of us to move on... that means for me to move on, and for her to move on as well.
And yet... there was still something there. I could not feel completely happy for her. There was something inside me that bothered me. I could not place my finger on it, but it was always there... like a splinter in my mind.
I admitted that it was still there, although the passing of time and the fact that I have been so busy have really made it dissipate.
Well, my friend told me that they had to show me some stuff, and that maybe this could help with my problem.
The stuff they showed me really... just... wow. They showed me hidden pages of my ex's blog that I did not know about. They gave me links to message boards and stuff that she belonged to. Most of this stuff...dated from when she started fucking him up until a few nights before really stung.
It was stuff of her talking about the deepness of her love for him... the way she used to talk about me.
It was her talking about him being the best lover she ever had... the way she used to say about me.
It was her talking about how much his dreams ment to her... much like she used to say about me.
And other stuff like that, with the same themes.
Wow.... it really put my ex in a whole new light. I mean, she never mentioned this in stuff I knew about... and perhaps it was a nice way to protect me. Or perhaps it was a way to mock me. I don't know, and I am not really sure I do want to know. And really, it doesn't matter.
What does matter, is that it put her in a new light. Somehow in my efforts to make sure we stayed friends and to deal with the natural anger of the situation, I had built this image of the failure of our marriage as a thing of circumstance.... that she had not intended it, and that all the things that had happened up until this time... well, she was sort of an innocent "victum", swept up in it all. Even though I felt that she was perhaps better off, I saw her as a victum of the past two or three years.
After all, who can be mad at the victum? Who could ever wish ill of the victum?
So I decided to sleep on it. That night, I had a dream that I was married to Jennifer Lopez (I am an ass man, k?) Well, JLo started getting into her internet life, and eventually she had a male friend who became a bigger and bigger part of her life. In the dream, I saw them fuck... but the me in the dream never saw it. Of course, in the dream she was turning me down for sex alot. I eventually heard her talk to her 'friend' about how she just stayed with me out of convience. Then, in the odd logic of dreams, she got naked and came to bed. I was horny, and tried to get it on. And JLo fed me one of the excuses my ex fed me.
I woke up with a shot, the image of the Jlo booty and my ex's ass side by side in my mind's eye.
Wow, thanks subconscious for that nice kick in the pants!
So I spent the next few days reading over the stuff I had learned. I pulled out old stuff she had written me throughout the marriage... stuff that I read in meloncoly back when she first wanted a divorce, but had buried away since then. Now, I compared them with what I knew about her personality, and looked at them thru the new eyes I have gotten with the growing I have done over the past few months. I saw so many parallels between all the crap she told me, and the crap she is telling and talking about her man now.
I could feel the splinter growing into a plank. Could I finally be getting to the bottom of it?
I chewed it over off and on for some time. I have a lot of other priorities in life after all, and my ex is very low on the list. But I made some revelations, and some discoveries.... all that lead to lunch today.
I was sitting in a McDonalds parking lot, eating a parfait when "Harder to Breathe" by Maroon 5 came on. I really like the song, always have. Well, he got to the point in the song where he sings the following:
[i]Clutching your pillow writhing in a naked sweat/
Hoping to find somebody someday who'll do you like I did[/i]
"Heh," I said to myself, "I would like someone to do her like she did me."
...
BAM, there was the fucking splinter! It finally all came together for me. Through thinking and talking to myself, I revealed the splinter in my mind, which apparently had two parts:
A. I am a person who will be honest. I will call a spade a spade. However, I have somehow never really came to grips with what I thought of my ex. Yes, I have been angry with her, and with the situation, but that victum shield I had given her had not allowed me to do the one thing I needed to do the most: I can call a spade a spade, but I really needed to call a bitch a bitch.
Look over my blog. I discuss her, I sometimes vent a little about her. But I never just go off on her... I had never really let that out before. The truth is that she stayed with me until she could find "a better man" and then fucking stabbed me in the back after all the time we had been together. I actually got really fucking angry with her... and I realized that she was not a victum of circumstance. She was not a victum of fate. She was a fucking bitch. Hell, she is a fucking bitch.
Wow... do you know how good it feels to finally say that?
B. My ability to admit that to myself finally made me admit something else to myself. All this time, I have been doing the "I wish her the best" routine. And of course, I do. I really do. However, there has been this dark part of me, deep down that I have not acknowledged before... the part of me that would like nothing better than to see her current relationship fall apart and watch her fall flat on her fucking cheating ass face.
I had spent so much time burying this natural reaction... probably because I was trying to be so gracious in the face of the situation. But now, the situation is not in my face anymore.... and I dont HAVE to be nice about it all the time. I am not going to be mean about it all the time, because thats not how I feel. However, I don't need to hide the dark side anymore.
And I won't.
Especually when I need to let it out.
Like right now. Its saturday night, and I know that this is date night for her and her boytoy. They will go to a movie (first release, most expensive theater in town), they will get gold plated buttered popcorn, imported fresh from Africa via overnight air mail, watch the movie, then drive home in his expensive car.
Meanwhile, I am worrying about how I will pay the bills next month, and wondering when...no,[b] IF[/b] I will see a damn dime of child support.
And I take back the part of them driving home after the movie. They get to go out on a dark country road and fuck repeatedly.
Meanwhile, I spent the night taking the kid trick or treating, then shopping for food, then sitting at home watching educational videos with the youngster until the kid fell asleep.
I think that it is good that I can finally look at a pic of my ex wife and say, loud and proud: "Fuck her! Fuck the bitch! Fuck her right in the ear!"
While I do wish her the best in the long run, I can finally say that at this moment that I would like nothing more than to see their relationship fail. Nay, I would like to see him dump her for someone else, and leave her all alone... like she did to me. Just so she can see how it feels.
I can finally say that... and BOY, does it feel good. Why didn't all you divorced people tell me about this? lol!
But now the splinter is gone. I really feel free. I really feel so much better.
Sorry about the length of this, and the meandering. I guess if you have made it this far, you either have nothing else to do, or you really like me. lol!
Now with my mind at ease, and my ability to finally admit my feelings about the ex more honestly to myself, I can move on to the next step of the post divorce recovery. I hear it is actually the most imortant part. And I know I am looking forward to it. In fact, I am chomping at the bit for it. I have been for several months now.
Thats right, bring on the next step of the recovery. Bring on the REBOUND SEX!!!!!!!!
Any volunteers? :wink:
Current Mood: :twisted:
|
|
|
| |
| Group work... yippie! |
| 10.28.04 (6:42 pm) [edit] |
Well, after a fairly stressful week (including two tests, a project in my computer class, and three lesson plans all due today), for once... going to work will seem like a vacation.
But there is no rest for the weary. This weekend my group in my biology class needs to come up with a brochure or flyer on an enviromental issue.
And since I am in a group with a bunch of freshmen, that means the ol' gnome will ge whipping up the brochure. Just like I have been lighting fires under their asses for everything else thus far. Lazy shits wouldn't have gotten a damn point so far if it wasn't for me. But at least after Tuesday, this group project is done.
Then, after we present this bullshit, there is ANOTHER group project.
I hate group work. I really do. I am a parent, I take a full load of classes, and I work. I don't have enough time for this shit. I don't have time to "meet up" or plan or get together and cut out pretty little pieces of cardboard for crappy diorammas.
Of course, the class is being taught by biology Graduate Assistants. Oh, they know their content area... they just can't teach their way out of a wet paper bag.
I hate classes taught by GA's. At least when I was a GA, I wasn't some mindless drone who did everything the department told me to do... nor did I rely solely on lectures or on group work like many of them do. Thats pretty much what the GA who teaches this class does. Follows a workbook, doing all the projects in it. Never varies his style, never brings anything new to the table.
Its really sad that they throw so many graduate students into a classroom... to the wolves, so to speak, with no real teacher training. Most of them don't know what they are doing.
If they did, maybe they would be a little more savy about why group projects really don't work well in 100 level classes. Or 200.... or 400. Or any level outside of high school.
Well, time for bed... then I get to go to work... and for once, I am looking forward to it over school.
Man... thats pretty damn sad.
Current Mood: :?
|
|
|
| |
| Mr. President, a moment of your time.... |
| 10.27.04 (3:20 pm) [edit] |
[b]Reporter:[/b] President Bush, every decision you make seems to divide people more and more. No other president in the past hundred years has stirred up such feelings of hatred and contempt like the feelings that many people have towards you. Some people see your strong convictions as a positive thing, while others see it as being unwilling to listen to the needs and interests of all people.
What do you have to say to those people who ask you to compromise or be more open to different ideas?
[b]President Bush:[/b]
LOL!
The commentary is a fake, of course. However, the photo is real. If you want a good laugh... or something to sigh about.... or something to scream 'conspiracy' about... depending on your political ideals... check out the link:
http://static.vidvote.com/movies/bushuncensored .mov" title="http://static.vidvote.com/movies/bushuncensored .mov" target="_blank"http://static.vidvote.com/mov...
I don't know what the context of the video is, or when it happened. I just thought it was funny.
Current Mood: :lol:
|
|
|
| |
| I couldn't do it |
| 10.26.04 (3:50 am) [edit] |
So I go in at 7:15 to wake the tot, get him dressed, and get off to pre-school so I can get to my first class.
Well, I start to change his diaper (diarehha free so far, woot!), and he opens his eyes, and does this half hearted whine. I think it was the equivilant of "come on dad, five more minutes."
Normally if he fusses in the morning, like most of us do, I just plow thru it. But not today. I just couldn't today. I mean... just damn, that whine and look were so cute. Plus, my Parent Sence™ started tingling. Knowing my kid has been, and may still be, a little sick, I just felt that he needed more rest. So I said to hell with my first class and I emailed the teacher explaining why I wouldn't be there.
Luckily, she has been really cooperative with me this semester.
Anyway, I am gonna give the kid another hour or so, then try to rouse him. Hopefully he can make a day of preschool. We both have Wednesday off, so thats something to look forward to.
Current Mood: Why is there no sleepy smilie on this thing?
|
|
|
| |
| Bunches of ouchies |
| 10.25.04 (10:53 pm) [edit] |
This was an ouchie day.
First and formost, my kid got sick again... and this time he got a rash. Luckilly, the doc says its not contagious.
Ouchie
Before that, I found out that one of the girls who was banging a manager at work (not the dumb girl who doesn't know about ovulation, the other one) got really intiment with her man. So much so... she gave him her virginity. It wasn't the first time she had tried sex, but this was the first guy who could get inside her. Apparently, she has a tightness issue.
Well, they had sex... and then he dumped her. She is upset not so much about the virginity thing, but because she was into the guy as a whole. She thought he was "the one". But he was just out for ass.
Ouchie.
Now, I am struggling with writting a one page paper because... well, I just dont care about it. Not that I know if I will even be able to go to class tomorrow, due to the sick tot....
Ouchies.
Oh well, live goes on.
Anyway, I am not normally a survey person, but I found this one interesting.
http://www.ffrf.org/quiz/ffrfquiz.php" title="http://www.ffrf.org/quiz/ffrfquiz.php" target="_blank"http://www.ffrf.org/quiz/ffrf...
I got a really high score. How did you do?
Current Mood: :?
|
|
|
| |
| A piece of ass |
| 10.24.04 (3:19 pm) [edit] |
I was cleaning the living room this morning when I came across a oddly shaped blue piece of plastic. I really wasn't what it was. It was dark blue, oval shapped, with a black band around the top.
So I sat down on the couch and took a closer look. The black band looked like a... a... belt? On one side, there was a stamp with the words "Copyright 82 Hasbro".
1982? Dark blue? This was odd.
So I looked at the odd heart shape underneath the copyright notice. Then I looked back at the black stripe that looked like a belt.... then it dawned on me.
A few weeks back, the tots grandparents had sent him a baggie with some of my old toys. One of the toys in that baggie was an old Cobra soldier from the glory days of GI Joe in the 1980's. You know, back before Cobra Comander and Cobrala and all that crap....
Anyway, it didn't take the tot long to destroy an already worn down toy. Over the past two weeks, I have been finding random legs and arms from the toy. No big deal, I wasn't attatched to that toy or anything.
But then it dawned on me. I have finally found the last piece of the toy. Here I was, sitting on the couch, holding the little plastic ass of that Cobra comando.
Funny thing.... after my divorce, people have been telling me that I really need to go out and get myself a piece of ass.
But I don't think this is what they had in mind...
Current Mood: :shock:
|
|
|
| |
| Out both ends |
| 10.23.04 (1:30 pm) [edit] |
Yesterday was going pretty well. Had an ok day at work, then an ok day at my practicum. Then I get to my kids daycare...
The director is there and hands me a note that says my kid had diareah twice during the day, and because of that, he could not return for 24 hours.
Well golly gee wilikers! I guess you guys don't care if I don't work, and thus don't have the money to pay you highway robbers.
I try to persuade her to let him come to daycare because I have to work, and I have nobody else to watch the tot. However, some wonderful state politician, some upper middle class or upper class person who has never had issues with having the money to pay their rent, or working at a job where you can be fired for calling in to work... decided to work to make it a state law that if a kid has the runs at school or daycare, they can't return the next day. The kid can just have food poisining, or the kid can be just fine the next day... but nope! The kid has to stay home.
Its a crock of shit, passed by politicians who are really out of touch with the struggles of the working class and single parents... but unfortunatly its the law.
So I made the director of the daycare make copies of the state law, highlight the parts that pertain to my situation, and write a detailed explaination of what was happening for my boss. Then I called into work.
Luckilly, I got the good manager who is willing to work around things like that. There is also a manager at my job who will fire anybody on the spot for calling in for a Saturday.
But remember, in the minds of the dipshits in Jeff City, that kind of stuff NEVER happens.
So I take the kid home. Things go fine. We both go to bed around 10ish.
Then 2:50 rolls around. The kid is whining in his room. I wake up because this is not the typical "I feel off the bed and will go right back to sleep" or "I need to fart" type of whine. I go into his room and rub his back to comfort him. Soon after, he horks on his blanket.
Then, he opens his eyes. Ahhh, sleep puking. Then he looks at the puke, and moves his head so he pukes on his bedspread. How nice.... wouldn't want to put any more puke your binkie, right kiddo?
Well, then he looks at me, smiles a little smile... then his head drops and he falls right back into a deep sleep.
Ooooooo kay.
So I wrestle the bedspread and binkie from him, and get him a spare blanket. When you are a parent, you learn to keep a collection of spare blankets for just such occassions.
By now, I am fully awake and pissed off. Its not the typical pissed off. Its what I call "parental pissed off". You are not overly mad at your kid personally. You are more mad at the situation that the kid has put you in. So after I throw his blanket and bedspread in the washing machine, I spend about 15 mintues floating around the house, cleaning and cussing. At around 3:15, I get back to bed.
The kid and I got up today around 10. I admit, that was nice.
However, my kid has no tempature, he has not puked all day... and his shit is normal. He is happy and full of energy. Meanwhile, I am missing one of the three days of the week I have that I can work.
Current Mood: :evil:
|
|
|
| |
| The hamster is STILL dead |
| 10.22.04 (9:45 pm) [edit] |
Ok, a few blogs back, I mentioned a girl I work with.... 19 years old, banging a manager, not the sharpest tool in the shed....
Well, she came up to me a few days ago and started asking me questions about pregnancy. See, after being married for five years and despite my divorce, I have become a fountain of blunt information about the nuts and bolts stuff like that.
So I answer her questions... then I ask her why she is asking. Well, turns out that her man has blown his load in her four times this month.
Well, I explain a bit about ovulation to her... and this amazes her. She was under the impression that if a guy cums inside her when she isn't on birth control , she would automaticly get pregnant. I am floored by this... but then remembered some of the naive stuff I thought about sex when I was her age.
But then I remember... she is on birth control. So I point this out to her. She says she missed a pill this month. No biggie, and I explain how missing a pill isnt the end of the world.
I asked why she missed taking the pill... and she explains that she missed the last pill because she was fucking her man at the time she was supposed to take that pill. Then the pill she missed a couple nights before that was missed for the same reason... and the pill before that, and the pill before that....
Yah, turns out that out of the past two months, she has taken her pill about 10 times total. Most of the time, she is either fucking her man and forgets, or she is staying over at his house, and she "doesn't want him in her personal affairs like that," and doesn't bring her pills when she sleeps at his house.
Well gee lady, you are FUCKING the guy. Can't be too much more personal than that. Of course, if she gets pregnant, there are the gyno visits, those are pretty damn personal too. lol!
At any rate, I just sign, explain the odds of pregnancy... and tell her that if she gets throught this month without getting preggo, she better get her happy ass on the patch. Its a bit harder to "forget."
Saw her again today. She told me that she is a day late, but she is cramping.
So I tell her again that if she isn't preggo to make sure her man takes her to get on the patch. She says that she can't do that. After all, someone from work might see them together at the birth control clinic, and their secret will be revealed.
As if her being knocked up with his kid wouldn't do that....
Oye....
Current Mood: :roll:
|
|
|
| |
| Looks like that seat is taken.... |
| 10.21.04 (10:27 am) [edit] |
Ahh, its fun to be in the computer lab. Myself and 50 other students, crammed shoulder to shoulder, typing away.
The best part is the little blonde bimbo sitting next to me. Her cell phone rang, and now she is sitting there chatting away... completely ignoring the huge sign on the wall above us and the message on the desktop that says that cell phones are banned in campus computer labs.
Oh wait, she just got up in a huff and left, saying "well, I guess I will take this outside." I guess all the nasty looks from the other students finally got on her nerves. lol!
At any rate, there is a girl that is in one of my classes. It is one of those big lecture hall type during one part of the day, then a lab later in the day. She is in my lecture and lab. We started chatting in class a few weeks ago. Nothing too deep, lots of friendly stuff. But as we chatted more, she got more and more friendly.... thus, my mind actually starts to wander... and started to play with idea of possibly maybe looking into possibly trying to lay the mack down on her. The last time we chatted, actually, it popped into my mind that... like... woah, I think she is cute.
In an odd turn, she missed the morning lecture on Tuesday. She normally doesn't miss it. But she made it for the afternoon lab. Oddly, she was walking a bit funny and had on a turtleneck. At one point when we were chatting before lab, she stooped down to pick something up, and the sweater slipped down, revealing a large hickey on her neck.
Walking funny and a hickey and missing morning lecture. Gee, I guess someone else thinks she is cute too.
Ah well....
Anywho, back to work on my project thats due today. I am chipping away at it slowly....
Current Mood: 8)
|
|
|
| |
| Tis a glorious day! |
| 10.21.04 (12:55 am) [edit] |
Boston 10 - Yankees 3
Booyah!
Not a huge fan of Boston... but heck, I would cheer on Hitler if he has a shot at beating the Yankees.
I fucking hate the Yankees. They are overpaid pompus bastards... represent New York City quite well being that way, ironicly.
Fuck the Yankees. Fuck them right in the ear.
In my book, I would rather have anyone but the Yankees win.
Funny how baseball seems to be alot like the presidental election this year. lol!
Oh well, I have been working on a damn project all night. Close to halfway done. Time for bed. I will just skip some classes tomorrow to finish it. Oh sure, I have had the assignment for three weeks... but what better time than the day before its due to start working on it... lol!
Current Mood: :D
|
|
|
| |
| Political Blog Wars |
| 10.20.04 (12:48 pm) [edit] |
I am a fan of the political bloggers around here. I don't comment on politics that often in my own blog, but I tend to follow politics closely. And of course, an important part of politics is the "peoples" reactions to events.
A few months back, I made a blog post suggesting that the people from both sides of the political spectrum should try to get along, or at least leave constructive critisism in each others blogs. It was at a time when there was this phantom menance of annomosity between the "liberals" and "conservitives." There have always been this sort of rivalry. Heck, one could even call it a sort of "Blog Wars" between both sides. But at the time, it was starting to get out of hand. They were really being quite rude to each other, and not all their attempts at rebutting each other used civility and logic. Or at the least, good humor when dissing the other side. I mean, it got pretty damn petty at points.
Well, that era of rudeness went on for about another week, then things sorta calmed down as the political blog people got into the rethoric of the conventions and all that. I thought that perhaps the worst part of the political blog wars were over.
Apparently, that was just episode one.
A little while back, a blog from a person named flipsidown appeared. Everytime that long time tblog liberal blogger flipsidedown posted, flipsidown would come on and post, mocking whatever flipsidedown posted.
Get it? Remove the "e" from flipsidedown... ha ha.
This clone thing was cute at first... but after awhile it got tiresome.
It has also spread.
Now everytime deshanews posts, a post from deshanewsy appears. CheckItOut posts, and CheckitQout appears with a mocking post mintues later. Last time I checked, pretty much every really active political blogger has someone posting counter-info or degrading sludge in the origional posters style under a clone name.
So I present the following in honor of the new low that political blogging has reached on TBlog. For now we are into a whole new episode of political blog wars blogging debauchery:
|
|
|
| |
| First day of schoo in fee years |
| 10.18.04 (10:34 pm) [edit] |
Ok, so its not the first day of school. But it is the first time I have taught in three years.
In my practicum, I am required to teach two lessons. In my case, one lesson will be in Psy, the other in Soc. Today was Psy.
Joy! I love psychology, but it is second from the bottom of my list of things I like to teach.
Its just another one of the damn hoops you have to jump through to be a teacher.
At least I had an easy subject in Psy... classical conditioning. I can teach that in my sleep.
It wasn't hard to get up in front of a class again. I stepped back behind the podium like I taught yesterday. I love being up there in front of the class. Guess my personality lends itself to performing in front of a crowd.
The hardest part of practicum teaching and, in some aspects student teaching, is the fact that the class is not "yours." You are walking into another teachers classroom. Yah, they are there to help, but sometimes that help can be a double edged sword. You aren't totally free. There is always that feeling of the weight of what the other teacher wants to teach. It's their "house" after all.
I know it may not make sence... its hard to understand unless you are a teacher.
At any rate, my lesson went ok. My CD player that I brought to play some example tracks finally died on me. The thing has been dying for about a year. Piece of shit would choose to croak in the middle of the second track I was playing. I managed to teach around that technical failure tho. The teacher liked my lesson. She said I even did a good job of dealing with my CD player failing, which would throw even some veteran teachers into a tizzy.
I am looking forward to teaching my next lesson. Not because of the experience, but because that will mean I am that much closer to being done with jumping thru all the hoops.
I am also looking forward to getting a nice teacher's paycheck. Maybe then I can afford a better CD player....
Current Mood: :)
|
|
|
| |
| Its apparent you are a parent.... |
| 10.16.04 (9:21 pm) [edit] |
You know you are a parent when you are sitting on the computer, eating cookies when you hear your kid start to make the horking sound.
You know... the sound like a cat trying to cough up a hairball....
Anyway, you hear the sound, and you calmly walk into the kitchen, grab a paper plate, then come back into the living room and sit your kid up.... and catch most of the puke on the paper plate.
Then you look at the contents of the plate and say ina calm yet inquisitive voice, "Ahh, I see you had chicken pot pie for lunch at preschool today."
You then throw away the plate.... grab a paper towel and wipe up the puke you missed and clean off the kid's face... lay the kid down with a kiss on the forehead... then head back to the computer and resume your eating.
Current Mood: :shock:
|
|
|
| |
| From hells heart, I spat at thee |
| 10.16.04 (12:01 pm) [edit] |
If there is one thing I hate in this damn house, its my remote collection.
Yes, I said collection.
See, I have an older tv. The company who made it doesn't exist anymore. Thus, the asshats who make universal remotes automaticly assume that everyone who had one of those tv's must have tossed them out... and thus they don't include codes for my tv into them. So I need to keep the remote for the tv.
What about getting up and changing the channel by hand? Thats a great idea, and I would do it if the buttons on the front of the tv that control the channels and volume weren't broken...
So thats one remote. My second remote to my dvd/vcr. Its made by a company that is so new that... yep, you guessed it, they don't make universal remotes that have coded to work it, either.
The final remote is the most important... and thus, the one I lose the most. It goes to the cable box. My wonderful cable company, in all their wisdom, has discontinued cable boxes that have any control buttons on them. Everyone uses and never loses their remotes.... right?
Ha! They don't know the gnome, do they?
Oh sure, I have a rule about always putting the remotes back where I found them. But I can be a tad bit absent minded. I tend to carry remotes around with me. And I lose them in interesting places. I have found my remotes in the bathroom, my bedroom, by the computer, in the trunk of the car, sitting on the dashboard of the car, in the rear seat of a friends car, on the dumpter out back, on top of the tv at friends houses... you get the idea.
Then lets not forget the Toddler Factor™. His motto for life is: "dad, anything you can lose I can lose better. I can lose anything better than you!"
I could type more about this subject, but there is a show I don't like on right now... and I have to find the damn remote.....
Current Mood: :roll:
|
|
|
| |
| Playing with her Bush |
| 10.15.04 (7:29 pm) [edit] |
I was at my practicum (think glorified go-fer, but I don't have that much responsibility) at my usual high school today. Helped the substitute keep the kids somewhat in line. Not much really happened, other than watching some video on Freud that could even put me to sleep.
Biography Channel... seriously... get a new narrator for your specials.
On my way out of the school, a group of students was coming in the doors. I recognized one of the girls as a freshmen in the class I start my day in. I don't catch much of the convo, but one girl says something about voting, and the girl I know says, in that cute not quite fully into puberty voice that most 14 year old girls have, "No doubt, its Bush all the way for me!"
My mind responds with the thought, "Perhaps you should be old enough to grow a bush before you consider voting for one."
I have seen the girl after school before. She gets picked up by her mommy... in their Escalade.... with a pro Bush sticker on the back.
Yah, I am sure she came to her political conclusions on her own. *cough*
Ok, I know that there are some very smart high school kids out there who pay attention to the issues and make logical, well thought out choices. And I applaud all three of them.
For the rest of the 12 to 15-year-olds out there, this is what the presidential debates looked like:
I remember being a teenager and having a fellow student tell the teacher that the voting age should be lowered. I think it was the only time I ever saw that teacher laugh. Many of the students got mad, and claimed the maturity to vote.
Now I realize the wisdom that made that teacher laugh. Many 14 year olds... heck, even 16 year olds.... are not mentally developed enough to make those kinds of choices. Its not an insult.... its just how humans work. Its how we develope. Besides, if we let kids vote, you can almost garontee that the majority of them would parrot their parent's political views.
Either that, or they would vote the opposite of their parents simply because... well, they will do anything to oppose their parents.
I am glad the voting age is 18. Hell, perhaps we should raise it back up to 21. After all, especually in this election, I think all people who step into the voting booth should be legally entitled to, and legally be able to have, a stiff drink.....
Current Mood: :idea:
|
|
|
| |
| The trip to Walmart |
| 10.13.04 (8:31 pm) [edit] |
My ex wife loved the Walmart Supercenter. Everytime she needed to shop for anything, that would be the first place she would head.
Lawngnome, on the other hand, hates Walmart. The ex and I lived in a town for awhile where the only shopping you could do was at a Supercenter. So when we moved to a bigger city that had more options, I was always in favor of taking those options. This tug of war caused a few spats.
Besides, like everyone else, when we went to Walmart, we always forgot to buy at least one thing we went to get in the first place.
Well, since she moved out several months ago, I have been to Walmart a total of two times. Once because I needed something only Walmart had. Today, I went because I wanted to look at the Halloween/Xmas stuff, and... I needed toothpaste.
So after the kids doctors appointment, I head to the nicest Supercenter in town. Its a converted regular Walmart, so it has a more retail store feel, its cleaner, its organized differently than the others in town... and only a small section of it has that stupid warehouse ceiling that most Supercenters have.
Hit the Halloween section, didn't see much I liked, which was disappointing. Hit the Xmas section. Loved the smell, saw a couple of nice things, but I am not in the mood to shop for the stuff yet. Hit the electronics section and picked up a cheap dvd. 'Mucha Lucha' is one of my favorite cartoons of the moment, and five bucks for six episodes of entertainment for the tot and myself... was too good of a deal to pass up.
Then, my kid hit the floor.
I was in one of the game isles, and he saw something he really wanted to get his little hands on, so he stood up in the cart. I have been doing my best to get him to not do that, I have explained why that is a bad idea. After all, he could fall out and I wouldn't be able to catch him.
But we were all kids one time, and we all know that kind of stuff doesn't always work. A kid can be told a hundred times to not stick a fork in the power outlet, but they won't get the message until they actually do it and find out that their parents are making a good point...
Anyway, he stood up and leaned towards the item, and lost his balance. I was able to reach down and get a hand under him enough to absorb a bit of the energy of his fall... and more importantly, to flip him so he wouldn't land on his head. He took most of the fall on his back, with his head hitting last.
I picked him up and sat in the isle with him, consoleing him, giving him a stern talking to about standing in the cart, and checking him for boo boos. A few minutes later, he was given a clean bit of health and we were back on the move.
Then I did some minor food shopping. Picked up some exotic jello flavors and other things. Whenever the kid went to stand, all it took was a look from me... the "dad look" and he sat back down.
We paid and left. On the way home, the kid took a monster crap in his diaper. So I park my car by the dumpster of the complex. I get the kid out of the car, and get a wiff. Then I ponder how long it will be until I feel like bringing the trash out.... then I make my move.
I take off his pants and his diaper, wiping the poop off his bottom with the diaper, and toss it in the dumpster. The tot is full of energy, and he runs gleefully up to the apartment door... with the energy that only nudity and youth can bring. It was a cute site.
At least I wouldn't have to put up with a crappy diaper stinking up my trashcan...
and and least I got my toothpaste... when I had to run back out to get gas a few hours later.
Current Mood: 8)
|
|
|
| |
| Pussy so early in the morning.... |
| 10.13.04 (12:57 pm) [edit] |
Its my day off, so the kid and I sleep in a bit late. Thats always a plus. Eventually, we get up and head into the living room for a morning of kid friendly tv.
I turn on PBS, and there I see Barney standing there stroking some pussy. Not exactly something that one expects to see first thing in the morning.
At any rate, it was a show where Barney was talking about all the super-de-duper animals that you can find on the farm. There was a video about cows, there were a couple of sheep, and a goat on the set. They also had a cat... the mightly slayer of mice on the farm... on the set. Apparently, they wanted to show that pets can llive on the farm. Barney was able to somehow get his hands on the cat. I don't know how they found a cat who would be calm enough for Barney to hold for the little brats on the show... maybe they doped it up so it wouldn't be nervious.
You have to wonder what the farmer who owned the animals was thinking. I mean, what would you think if some giant purple dinosaur was stroking your pussy?
When Barney put the cat down, it took off like a shot. lol!
Oh, they also talked chickens and roosters. Luckily, they didn't bring the rooster on the show. I mean, who wants to see Barney dancing around with cock in his hand?
Up next, looks like it will be Blues Clues on Nick. One of my favorites. Its actually funny... when the kid isnt around, I will still put the tv on kids programming. Its pretty apparent I am a parent.
Current Mood: :)
|
|
|
| |
| Substitute laundry |
| 10.12.04 (12:56 am) [edit] |
I went to the high school for my practicum today. The regular teacher was sick, so there was a substitute there.
I remember high school. In one class with one sub, the students would all say our names were different, really messing with the subs head, especually when it came to the seating chart. Another time with another sub, we spent the hour throwing pencils at the ceiling, telling the sub we could do it with our normal teacher.
Of course, this was in the days before kids all wore nametags around their necks. So I figured, maybe kids have calmed down a bit.
OOOOOH, I was wrong. These kids were as loud and rude and disobedient as we were back in the day.
Heck, there were kids who would ask for permission to go to the restroom, and when the sub said no, they would just walk out of the room anyway. The sub gave a test and tried to sit them two to a table, and kids would eventually wander and sit with their friends, four to a table.
Then, when the bell rang, the chairs were not like the sub wanted. So she blocked the door, and told the kids to straighten up. Many of the kids told her they were leaving, and plowed right past her. A few of the nicer ones did stay and help her clean up, tho.
Its amazing how a bunch of kids, who are normally so nice and somewhat polite... can turn so cutthroat when there is a sub in the classroom.
I feel lucky that I decided against being a substitute several years back. If that would have been my first impression of teaching, I may have taken a much different path...
Oh well, bedtime. Tots out, sleeping with his favorite toy of the moment - My half inflated basketball. Kid, please, daddy needs to inflate it and get to the courts! Gotta prove that white men really can't jump!
Current Mood: 8)
|
|
|
| |
| The last nerve |
| 10.10.04 (11:25 pm) [edit] |
This was one of those days that I really wish there was a second damn parent in the house. Don't get me wrong, I love my tot to pieces, but...
I have him in daycare five days of the week. The maximum allowed by the daycare. Three of those days I work. Two of those days I am in school. Up until last Thursday I haven't had a single day off from my kiddo.
And oh, that day was nice. Silence. I was able to get things done. I was able to truely veg for the first time in a long time.
And after today, I think I really need another one of those days... for my sanity.
I had my writting project open on the computer most of the day. Would you like to know how much I got done?
Zip. zero. Nadda.
Why? Because everytime I got inspired to write (fellow artists can relate, creation isn't something you can just flick on and off like a switch), my tot would come running up wanting to play catch, or hit the ballon, or wanting a snack. etc etc etc. Whenever I did cleaning, he was right there underfoot. I tried to read, he was climbing all over me.
I know... he's three. Now his full time main parent is someone who actually pays attention to him. He is young and, while he is learning his limits, he doesn't always remember them. I expect this kind of stuff from him.
But today, he poured it on really thick. He wore me down to damn near my last nerve. He started off the day entertaining himself... but then he somehow lost that ability around 9am. Between all the stuff listed above and the fact that he chose today to take several shits (apparently, he must have been saving them up just for me or something), I was worn down. It was one of those days that would have been REALLY nice to have another parent to hand the kid off to. Just for a moment's peace.
I love him like nothing else, but damn it, its nice to get some peace...other than sleep.
And speaking of that....
Current Mood: :?
|
|
|
| |
| Like a train |
| 10.10.04 (11:01 am) [edit] |
Its that wonderful time of the semester again. Classes, work, the tot... it has been building up on me the past few weeks. Finally, my school sleep pattern has set in.
Normally, I am like most people. I get tired gradually. Usually over a few minutes I get more and more tired. And of course, I can fight it off when needed.
However, during the school year its different. Between all my obligations (parenting around the house excluded) I am run ragged. And week after week, it starts to build up. Then... I get hit by the fatigue train.
For the last half of the semester, sleep is no longer a peaceful feeling that slowly creeps up on me. I get so worn down, sleep comes roaring at me like a bad case of the runs. I usually have a minute warning before I need to get my ass to the couch or to bed. Sleep hits me like a train.
Luckily, my tot is an angel about it. He is usually in his room by that time. If not, he will tend to play quietly, or cuddle up next to me on the couch. That way, when I wake up with that "damn sleeping on the couch sucks" feeling, he is right there, ready to go to bed himself.
At least I am getting better at this. Last semester, this hit me alot earlier. lol!
Time to blow bubbles with the tot.
Current Mood: 8)
|
|
|
| |
| Experian blows donkey dick |
| 10.08.04 (8:47 pm) [edit] |
Ok, I have been working on cleaning up my credit. Its a long... fun process. It involves ordering reports from the three major credit bureaus, disputing wrong things etc etc etc.
Have you ever tried to order your credit report? With Trans Union and Equifax, its a piece of cake. Plug in some info, give them payment, and BAM... you get your report right away.
But with Experian.... oooooh no, can't be that easy. They have layers of "security" questions. If you don't get them right... and odds are you will miss one of them, then they send you a "security passcode" in the mail.
You know, as if I wanna spend 9 bucks to buy a strangers credit report. :roll:
So I went thru all their crap, THEN i had to wait a week for the passcode to get to me in the mail. Then... because of issues with their passcode, they lock me out of my accound. JOY!
I am pissed at this point. Combine that with feeling a bit sick, I was not in the mood for any shit. So I call their 1-800 number to unlock my account... and I have to go thru a bunch of pre recorded crap. Pre recorded crap that I was yelling profanity at the entire time. I realize that if these guys are like most call centers, I will have to wait 20 minutes AFTER all the pre recorded menu crap.
Then they make the mistake of saying "This call may be monitored or recorded." I figure this is the time I go on hold, so I yell, "Great, record this so you will have a record of what mother fucking clusterfucks you assholes are!"
In my anger, I didn't notice that somebody had picked up the line. Then, after I was done yelling, they hung up on me.
I couldn't help but laugh! I had forgotten that most call center employees can hear you before you can hear them. Its like a drive thru at McDonalds. So some poor little thing in Bangledesh who gets paid 50 cents an hour had to listen to my cussing streak... and apparently, they understood enough of it to hang up on me. lol!
I made a couple of other calls, calmed down, and called them back to get my info. Got my credit report, and its all good.
But geez, why does Experian make people jump thru so many hoops? oye. Fucking dipshits. I hope I never have to deal with them again.
Oh well. On a side note, it was lazy parentling night here in the gnome household. I swung by McDonalds and got the tot a double cheeseburger and fries for dinner. He gets so excited when I go thru the drive thru of any restaurant or bank. He will sit back in the back seat and try to lean forward and do the ordering for me. Which is dangerious.... cause he gets so excited about cheeseburgers he says it over and over. If I let him order, I would have like 20 cheeseburgers everytime.... even from the bank. lol!
Current Mood: :P
|
|
|
| |
| Tot tinkle.... |
| 10.06.04 (9:03 pm) [edit] |
I have been working on toilet training the tot for a few weeks now. I have made tinkling and pooping two seperate events, with two seperate stances. Pooping involves sitting in the potty seat in the toilet. I am trying to teach him to tinkle standing up.
One of the ways I learned to teach the tot to tinklie standing up is to demonstrate it for him. So I have been doing this with him. Well, one time, I was really tired after a long ass day at work... but I decided to keep up the training routine. Being tired, I basicly stuck one arm forward and used it to lean on the wall as I went. Just once.
Well, now everytime he comes in to try it, or to pretend to... he will stand to the side of the toilet and lean on the wall. He even tacks on the tired sigh now and then.
Oye.... Of all the things to learn.....
Oh well, I am comforted by the fact that he leaves the seat up. At least he has picked up SOMETHING useful....
Current Mood: :)
|
|
|
| |
| And the band played on |
| 10.03.04 (6:47 pm) [edit] |
A couple of days ago, I came home to a full mail box. It was full of the usual stuff... credit card offers, pizza coupons.... but there was also an envelope from the courthouse. Curious, I open it. It was my divorce papers.
Well, thats was.... interesting. Thats about all I could really say about it.
It was odd. I expected to have more of a reaction to it. Sadness... joy... regret... something. I didn't understand why there was no reaction.
So I sat the papers aside. I had been having a busy span of days, and I thought maybe if I had some time to ponder them, I might feel something.
Two days have passed. I have had a chance to read the papers and reflect on their meaning. And still, there is no real reaction.
But now I understand why. I have already gone thru the gauntlet of emotions:
* The hurt that comes from somebody whom I gave my all to betraying me in such a brutal way.
* The mixed emotions that come from looking back on the relationship, and realizing that the passion had been slowly slipping away... and that we were growing into two different people than those who married so long ago....
* The feelings of irony and regret of oppertunities that presented themselves to me that I did not take advantage of... while my ex wife did take advantage of some.
* The sadness that comes from realizing that your best friend who had shared your dreams for so long... didn't share them anymore.
* The inital lonelyness of waking up to an empty bed.
* The anger that she would leave and have love waiting for her, while I would have nobody.
* The worry of being able to find someone new.
All those emotions came and went over the past year that we worked thru the divorce. The emotions all gave way to annoyance. The thing that annoyed me was not the fact that I was getting divorced, but the fact that it was taking so long. It was an annoyance .. a presence... like a splinter in my mind.
Now it is over. But I am not exactly going to celebrate or cry or dance or anything. Its just one step in rebuilding my life for the better.
Current Mood: :idea:
|
|
|
| |
| That hamster aint comming back.... |
| 10.02.04 (12:16 am) [edit] |
So I am at work today, and one of the girls I mentioned a few blogs ago is working. The 20 year old one who is banging a manager.
She has an interesting story. She is 20, and has just started college. She is from a small town, and... well, the wheel is spinning, but the hamsters dead. She is fairly easy to take advantage of. Despite that, she does work hard to improve herself. She has dropped her weight from 140 to 115... and she is starting college with hopes of escaping her small town life.
I think that our friendship is based on our complimentary sences of humor, and the fact that she knows I will be honest and blunt with her when she has concerns. Plus, I am like the only guy in the department who isn't trying to get her into bed. Oh, don't get me wrong, if she offered the pussy, I most likely wouldn't turn it down at this point. But I don't go chasing it...I am not interested in her in a romantic or really on even a booty call basis.... nor do I drool over her like the other guys in the department. I think she once noted how I actually look at her green eyes when we talk, not her "pink eyes." Thusly, she feels that she can talk to me honestly about the adventures in her personal life.
Well, at any rate, she was a few isles over doing some cleaning. Picking up stuff, bending over, yada yada yada. I was watching her, half out of having nothing else to do, half out of checking out her ass. Not in the overtly sexual way. I was checking it out in an astetic way. As a artist deep down... I almost went to an art institute, but I burned out... I admit to admiring the artistic and astetic beauty of the female form. There are lines and curves and angles and sweeping shapes that the female form has that are just pleasing to the eye.
If you are an artist, you know what I am talking about. If not... just objectivly watch a woman someday. Take all of your sexual feelings (or envy, depending on your gender and preferences)... and just let your eyes wander over the female form. Everyone sees something different...
At any rate, I was watching her work. As she kept working, her pants started to drop lower and lower with each successive bending over. See, she has lost her weight fairly quickly, and is still wearing pants that are too big for her. Thus, she had a bad case of plumber butt. I think at one point, she got down to a 3/4 moon.
Finnally, I called her over and explained her plumber butt. She laughed and smacked me for calling her a plumber. Then she asked if there had been any customers... which I told her no... and that I was the only person who had seen her naked ass today.
Thats when things got interesting. She kinda looked down and said "um, not really". I give her a little ribbing over her boyfriend and her... and she says that the time he saw her ass today may mean a lifechanging event for her.
Uh oh.
It turns out that she is on the pill... but has a bad habit of forgetting to take it in the mornings... especually when her man is with her. Meanwhile, her man has a bad habit of not pulling out when she asks him to. He apparently takes his time cumming, but when he does, it comes out of the blue and comes really fast.
Well... more information about one of the store managers than I needed to know on a Friday, but anyway....
So she is scared she is preggo, and she starts asking for advice since I had a woman for a long time who was on birth control.
My first advice for her... if you cant take the pill, get your ass on the patch. Otherwise, those pants that are too big may get to be too small.
She laughed and assured me that her man said if she was preggo, he would take care of her.
Boy, that must be a fun conversation to have right after sex... as you are both driving to work. And how romantic for a couple that have been banging for a couple of weeks.
Then I asked her what her boyfriend of a year... the boyfriend on whom she is fucking around on... would think of that. Her quote:
"Oh, well, he won't think anything of it. We havent had sex in two months, so he will know its not his."
We looked at each other for a minute.... and thru her blank stare I could hear the squeaky hamster wheel slowly turning.
I connected those dots for her. Apparently, she never thought that her boyfriend would discover her cheating if she gets pregnant while they aren't having sex.
So as she was leaving to go to class, she told me she would probably have to try to fuck him tonight, just in case.
I wished her luck. After all, if I can't have a sexlife of my own, I may as well have it vicariously thru others. LOL!
At least somebody is getting laid.... oye.
I have other things on my mind today... but I am tired. And the neighbors have stopped fighting, so maybe I can get some sleep.....
Current Mood: :?:
|
|
|
| |
|
I AM 75% EVIL GENIUS!  |
Daily Tip:
|
